Effective Networking: It's in YOUR hands!

Effective Networking, whether for business or social purposes is not that easy a task as we might think. It requires quite a bit of work from YOUR part, and it happens in 3 stages: Before, During and After.

If you are about to attend a Networking event that will bring together, let's say, a multitude of business people who conduct business in your area, consider the following:

BEFORE

• Find out who will probably be attending the event. Ask around. Ask the place (a restaurant?) or the Event organizers.
• If someone interesting is expected to attend, and you are planning on meeting them, do your homework on them. Read about what they do, and learn about their latest ventures.
• Make sure you understand the attire suggested, and choose something comfortable, professional, neutral, clean and wrinkle-free.
• Load up on business cards and actually, grab a few from your close business partners/friends to take with you as well. You never know what you'll end up talking about, and maybe someone will ask you if you know any great Doctor, Doggie Daycare, Social Media Expert you trust..and you'll be glad to provide a reference!

DURING

• Don't be shy. If you're too shy to talk to anybody new, don't even go. So, with this said, work on your shyness, and be professionally spontaneous. If you don't know what to say, ask questions! People love talking about what they do, what they like, what they want!
• DON'T eat or drink too much. You're not there for the food and drinks.
• If you do drink, don't hold it in your right hand. Who wants to shake a cold, wet hand anyway?
• Same thing with food: Don't pick your finger food, then quickly eat it, wipe your hand off on your suit jacket and extend your hand for a handshake trying to let out a "Nice to meet you!" while still chewing...Uff!
• Collect business cards and make a mental picture of ALL of them connected to each person. You will need them later!
• Hand out business cards as well, and while doing so, add information about your business, location, new product/service...something that will create a mental connection of you, your business and the business card to the person you're giving the card to.
• Don't stay in one spot. Work the room. Walk around, and look for people who are doing the same thing. Don't jump into a rather closed circle of people already in the middle of a conversation. Create your own circle and bring in people whom you've just met! Introduce them, properly, which will also help you retain their name and business info!

AFTER

• Less than 48h after the event, send out any information you had promised people you would provide them with (an article on wardrobe faux-pas? A great appetizer recipe? Your event list for the Fall?)
• In the same time frame, contact, via e-mail or blog postings (if applicable) how much you enjoyed meeting them and chatting about "abc" with them. Offer your services, your help and hope for future contact. Keep it simple and professional.
• Don't be alarmed if the person NEVER answers back. I know, that's just not only rude, but a pitty. It shows how THEY don't take their networking seriously. Don't cry over it. Move on to those who care.
• Look for additional networking events organized by the same group and different one, and mark them down in your calendar, making plans to attend. Don't attend an event if it conflicts with your own work/presentation/travel plans. Remember, you still have to work, or maybe even, your own business to run.
• Keep a networking event BOOK or LOG! Yes! Write down the date, event name, time, people you've met, follow-ups, relationships built. Keep growing it!

Good luck!
I look forward to reading about your Networking Tips!

Ok, but don't forget to recognize what's GOOD as well!

So far, according to the poll, it seems most people voice their bad service experience directly to management, and/or write a nasty letter (can I assume it would be a nasty letter?) to the owners or corporate office.

Most of us are not looking for monetary compensation, like getting our money back or receiving a free meal on the next visit, but so many times we get something out of it anyways without even asking for it. Our intent, often, is just for someone to listen to what we have to say and rectify the situation, hopefully not letting it happen again!

My husband and I received full compensation for our whole, entire meal (from Appetizer to Dessert and coffee) many, many years ago at McCormick & Schmick's. We received a free sushi roll from our neighborhood Chinese/Japanese Restaurant while ordering for home delivery after our last home delivery had arrived with fewer items than what we had ordered. We also received a "15% off on every visit" from a Barbecue Restaurant, however, have ever since experienced continuous unsatisfactory service that we now simply don't go there anymore that often (even though we have the discount card!).

Now, you might think "these guys eat out a lot, my goodness!" or "they must be heavy complainers!". A little bit of both is true. But our focus is actually on something else:

My husband and I always, and I repeat, always point out good service to our server and to management. We make it a point to express how excellent service was and why it was so good. Both of us, having worked in the hospitality industry, know how important it is for employees and management to recognize top service and success. We believe in how powerful this is.

We believe that while complaining about what's wrong will (hopefully) trigger some changes for the best, pointing out what's RIGHT has an amazing impact on employee morale and on how WE feel. Our contribution of verbally expressing our gratitude for good service goes a long way.

How about shifting our thoughts now to observing and recognizing good service? Maybe we can also turn the nasty letters into amazing compliment letters. To receive a verbal or written compliment from a guest/client, is one of the strongest motivators one can experience at work, positively affecting one's attitude towards people and one's job.

I will write more and more about service, service etiquette and handling service issues, however, this post was intended to remind us all that it IS important to recognize good service. It IS important to let servers and managers know how great service was. Believe wen I say that it DOES make a difference!

NO random Restaurant Talk!..

One of my areas of concentration lies in customer service training. This comprises less of the technical training to do a job as a server, bartender, as a front-desk agent, PBX (phones) agent, concierge, sales person or as a reservations agent, and more of the people skills, communication skills, polished good manners and follow-up skills. These "soft skills" complement the technical training given by supervisors, managers or corporate trainers. I come in to polish it up a bit.

Given the nature of one of my concentrations, I always find myself meticulously observing, silent-commenting and judging service. I mostly do so at hotels and restaurants, because of my previous work experience and industry knowledge and passion for hospitality.

I stopped expecting excellent service (so sad, I know), because that would put me on the streets as a trainer and consultant. No, honestly, I haven't experienced flawless service in a casual dining establishment in a long, long time.

I expect A+ service in fine dining establishments, no questions asked. A few years ago, my husband and I celebrated our Anniversary at Manuel's on the 28th on Downtown's Orange Avenue. The contemporary cuisine was absolutely, flawlessly served by our very knowledgeable, very well trained server. The whole team was in sync with their guests, amazingly anticipating our needs over and over again, only stopping by our table when necessary, knowing how to pause, not interrupting our table conversation. Well, a few years later, I must say I just remembered, my husband and I dined at Antonio's on Sand Lake Road by Dr. Philip's (also Orlando). Service was a delight. Although I would not consider it a fine dining establishment, white linen cloths, serving from the left, waiting until both of us were done to clear our plates from the right, and using a bread crumber before serving our dessert was mirroring the service we received this past Valentine's Day at The Vineyard Grill at the Ritz Carlton Grande Lakes.

Sadly, as I was saying, I don't recall the last time I received excellent service in a casual dining establishment. There is always something to mess it up, I must say.
The other day, my parents and I were about to order lunch in one of Downtown's newest restaurants (very nice place, discriminating decor, interesting, tasty menu items). When asked how the chicken was, the waiter's facial expression (and I am not joking!), was a mix of skepticism with a slight disgust. To finalize his answer he said: "It takes so long to cook, and then when you get it...you're just better off having much better chicken at KFC or so!". Enough said.
At a nice Steakhouse known for having some of the best steaks in the State, while clearing up the dishes from the table, piling them up as much as possible on one of those oval trays, my stepdaughter was nicely splashed with meat sauce. It didn't burn her, but soiled her shirt and pants. A not empathetic "sorry" was delivered so low you could hardly hear it. One might say it was just an accident. perhaps. But accidents can be prevented, and the way he was clearing up the table was not indicative of any preventive measures.
One of my all-time favorites is a very friendly, yet clueless waitress letting us know that "the bread we have now is so hard, that I'll have to put some fresh dough in the oven for you!" Thank you for sharing. We don't want to, we don't need to know about these situations in the back of the house.

A guy I worked with a few years ago, when answering a very upset guest's question why the elevator was still out of order, sarcastically responded "Sir, we also have stairs!"...The guest was staying on the 17th floor...(now, that was at a hotel, not at a restaurant, but you know what I'm talking about. Service is service)

In my opinion, service has become way too casual. The fine, little respectful attitudes are somehow lost in time. We are so often rushed through lunch/dinner, many waiters making a complete wrong assumption that we're in a hurry just because it's lunch time. We are judged by our waitstaff the minute we sit down, I get that, ok, and sometimes you see the pathetic transition of horrible service to nicer and careful service once you tell them you are taking a NY Strip home to your husband and 2 desserts will be to-go as well. Now, I must say, diners (people!) have also been slacking in their manners. Uff, that will be a whole other post, but if you're trying to serve someone who's constantly on the cellphone, loud and obnoxious, disturbing other guests and barely paying attention to you, server, I understand that frustration very well also.

There are two sides to everything, right?
(The restaurants mentioned above are linked to their web sites!)

InternEtiquette - Part II

Good day, everybody! It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Orlando, Florida!

Continuing the mission of spreading good manners and kindness in our online world, today's focus is on:

• Enhancing your online written communication to avoid possible conflict
• Watching the content you post; mind your readers!

To start, let's have a look at an example: I am writing to you, whether it is via e-mail, instant messenger, blog comments section, Facebook, Orkut or any other social medium: "I think you did the right thing" You probably know what I am making reference to when I write this to you, however, you don't really know how I am telling you this. Am I confident in my words? Am I rather skeptic? Maybe I am happy? Notice that I didn't use punctuation in the sentence on purpose. You don't know how many e-mails I receive with no punctuation. It's almost like a written nightmare. Without punctuation, you run the risk of total misinterpretation. Let's not get into grammar coaching here, but I cannot emphasize enough how important commas, exclamation and question marks or periods are. I was perplexed when a high school counselor e-mailed me an email with no greeting and closing note, and no use of punctuation! Uff! Enhancing your words with adjectives, adverbs punctuation and "visual words" helps your reader understand how you are expressing yourself in your written delivery. It helps your reader "listen to your voice" when he/she reads your mail.

"I honestly think you did the right thing, without a doubt in my mind!" conveys the full idea: What you want to say and how you want to say it.

Instead of replying to an e-mail by writing: "That's a good start. Keep it up.", write: "I think the first ideas you showed in your table are a wonderful way to start the project. It gives it dimension. Keep up the good work you demonstrated in that table and the bullet points below. Let's bring more content to it, though." People can't read what your entire thoughts are, and while assuming is something we just have to do on a daily basis anyway, if you are expecting a 2-way communication to be truly effective, make sure you enhance your written e-mail communication.

Time should never be an issue here. It takes just a few more seconds to add words, explanations, "smiley faces" and question marks. In addition, by taking 1 additional minute to write it out, you'll be saving time later on not having to explain what you meant in the first place.

Once I wrote an e-mail to a training manager. It had about 2 small paragraphs with a few questions and thoughts I had. The answer I received was (and I will never forget my reaction to it): "Call me as soon as you can." Was he upset? Was he in a huge hurry? Was he at least somewhat happy about what I had sent him? I was confused by the too short and almost rude answer. I didn't know what to make of it. On the phone, soon after, our conversation was delightful! Had he sent an enhanced e-mail, he would have been able to communicate with me much more efficiently and avoid any misinterpretation!

Second topic: Watch the content you post! I read a comment someone posted about certain presentations being "so lame". Not only did this person insult all the other classmates who share the same social medium online and who were actually presenting on that day, but the content posted created a "did you see what So&So wrote?!" type of online gossip. Now, that is something we all don't have time for. A friend of mine decided to blog about her "dumb colleagues who think they know it all" and wrote a paragraph about one certain lady. The lady ended up reading it, and my friend's reputation was drastically affected. Negatively, needless to say. She had to apologize by blogging about it. Another one commented on a certain holiday being "so fake and consumption driven" and "a waste and ridiculous", not taking into consideration that others in his own tight circle celebrate it all the way, and love it. What are you trying to do to yourself, I ask? I never advocate against critique, however, it can always be done in a kinder way. There is no doubt about that.

Remember, nothing is ever totally deleted in our world wide web.

InternEtiquette - Part I

A few topics deserve more posts. Like the "Iffy Situations" series that I started, I will dedicate a few posts to, ...let's call it InternEtiquette!

This is a topic hard to tackle due to its complexity. It involves so many aspects, applications, "places", things, words, information, web sites, logos, e-mails, social media, pictures, viruses, privacy, copyright issues,...Uff! But please, note, I am not a lawyer...I will focus on the politeness that is so often forgotten in the online world. My suggestions and advice come entirely from my experience in the Etiquette Business.

My first on the list: E-MAILS!

What I have been noticing:

• People who don't greet others when e-mailing: By leaving out a "Hello, John! How are you today?" you send the message that the content is more important than your manners and respect for others. How do you speak to others on the phone? You greet them first, correct?
• People who don't finish their e-mails with an appropriate closing note: By not saying "Goodbye!", "Have a nice day, and I'll talk to you later!" or "Thank you for your e-mail" you are definitely not considering good manners and god communication. It is like hanging up on somebody via e-mail!
• People who misspell (and not by accident) and use wrong grammar: No excuses here. I only tolerate it when people are using English as their second or third language. If English is your first language, you should never, and I repeat, never, use wrong grammar and spell words incorrectly. It shows lack of care, lack of attention and lack of respect for yourself and others.
• People forwarding your e-mails and e-mail addresses to others without your "permission": Here is a tricky one. I would never wrongly judge my mother for forwarding my e-mails with pictures of my daughter and us to her cousins and best friends! I know she does it out of love. Being far away, e-mail has become one of our main modes of communication. I appreciate my mom and friends caring!However, apparently my personal e-mail address was given out to a lady constantly sending out messages about events that, unfortunately, don't interest me. I don't know her well, but know a few people who know her. You get the idea.
• People not answering your e-mails: Once I wrote about the time management excuse of "I don't have time". Thus, if you don't answer e-mails promptly (urgent ones on the same day and non-urgent ones within 48h, Internet access being available, of course), you are sending out the message that you don't have time for that person's issues, comments, questions etc. You are mostly, however, sending out the message that you have time (of course, we all have time!), but you choose to do with it something else than answering your friend, client, family member. If you have an e-mail account, expect people to e-mail you. Check it daily. Make it a habit! It has become one of the most common and convenient communication modes. If you have one, use it, or people will lose interest in e-mailing you!

These are some of the basic faux-pas of e-mailing that I consider mentioning. I have not gone into content yet. Next time, let's talk about e-mail content and social media! It is amazing, how social media has become part of our lives as people and business people. For now, have a good one, everybody, and I look forward to your comments and questions!