Do YOU do THIS? Please, don't!

A short post to remind you NOT to do these following things, EVER:

While talking to someone, DON'T text message or check e-mails on your phone, no matter how fast a typer you are or how quickly you want to browse your e-mails. If you MUST send/check a text message or e-mail, excuse yourself first, and then do it. You can't share attention even though you might think it's possible. No, it's rude and shows disrespect.

Avoid at all costs talking to others next to/around you while talking on the phone. I don't care if it's a pet, a baby, another friend, your spouse or someone on Skype. If we are speaking on the phone, I'm doing so for a reason, and I'll expect you to speak with me, and not share the time with others next to you while "I'm patiently waiting" and wondering why you are interrupting our conversation. Again, if you must talk to someone, a pet, a child, anybody else while talking on the phone, EXCUSE yourself 1st. It's about good manners and consideration.

Online bullying is a waste of time. If you have a problem with someone, please address it in person and put an end to the "drama". Why would you waste your time and your energy in being negative and achieving nothing, really? If you are the bullied one, move on by ignoring the comments. Bullying should only affect you if you actually believe some of it that is being said is actually true. For example, if someone tells me "I think your freckles are ugly!", it wouldn't affect me at all, because I know it's not true: I don't even have freckles!! ....just a note, I think freckles are actually a super nice touch!

Fast casual restaurants (Panera, Crispers, a mall's food court...) or fast-food restaurants require you to participate in the service encounter. You are to clean up after yourself, no matter what. Don't make a fool of yourself by leaving your table dirty and not pushing your chairs back in/under the table (if they move). If you spill something, wipe it or ask for help. You are a co-producer of the service encounter. Act smart!

Never pick your teeth/clean your teeth at the table. Reserve this personal moment for the restroom, please, even if you are dining alone. Also, don't use your tongue to "clean up" in there. If something is bothering you, excuse yourself and visit the restroom. Don't take too long, as you should always avoid leaving the table while dining with others.

When your guests misbehave

First of all, I must say:
It is not your fault if your own guests misbehave at a restaurant. Unfortunately, we cannot be responsible for adults' actions.

Here is the setting:
The host invited a group of about 10 to have dinner at a friend's restaurant. She planned it with care and made sure all guests' needs could be met during dinner. One of the guests decided to invite 2 friends to attend as well. The hostess welcomed the additional guests, 2 ladies.
The restaurant: a Colombian owned restaurant, specializing in South-American cuisine, featuring Colombian music, decor and on that specific evening, also a late Karaoke entertainment event.
The guests: Some were of Hispanic descent and some were not. The 2 additional guests spoke English and no Spanish, and were not familiar with Colombian cuisine, atmosphere and the "Latin touch".

What happened:
Upon arrival (a rather late arrival), the 2 ladies approach the table, greet everybody, and start giggling and whispering to one another. After taking their seats, they decide to use the table's paper napkins to write notes and pass it around the table to some people (No, the ladies were not young teenagers. They could have been teenagers' mothers maybe). The hostess spots the behavior and actually gets to read one of the notes. It said: "WTF, all Spanish here?!"

The response:
The hostess felt embarrassed and very uncomfortable. The table was displaying a large amount of handwritten notes on paper napkins, and even the owner, once approaching the table to greet the guests, noticed the pile of written communication laying around.
The hostess made sure the 2 ladies had a menu with English translation and asked if they needed any suggestions. She tried accommodating their needs but their behavior was getting her really, really upset and embarrassed. She even apologized to her friend, the restaurant's owner.

My response:
A few days later, after hearing about the incident, I felt bad. It is so sad that adults can behave in such manner. I immediately told her "It is not your fault!. You can only feel sorry for them, as the event has passed and they ended up leaving a very bad impression on you, on the restaurant staff and other guests at the table."
What would you do in such a situation?
I would keep in mind they are my guests, but I would also keep in mind they are probably embarrassing themselves and others. The most appropriate response to this situation would be to address them, engage them in conversation, ASK them questions and offer help. Deviating their attention from their own actions could change their focus. If they see you reading one of the notes, you can diplomatically make a comment like "Oh, this must be your first time here! We admire the quality of service and of the food they serve. It's a great way to learn more about the Colombian culture. They are wonderful people!" Smile when you say that, be sincere, not snippy, and look them in the eyes. Your goal is to appease the situation, and not make it worse for anybody. You are the hostess, and as a hostess, sometimes, we have to deal with guests who misbehave. Unfortunately.

No matter what, always be a class-act!

Your Front Desk Agent at the Hotel

Front Desk Agents have a hard job.

I dedicate this post to all those who currently work at a hotel's front desk or have worked at one in the past. I've done it, holding different positions and seeing it all come together from different angles, and I know it's not an easy job.
In my opinion, front desk agents are tremendously underpaid, given the amount of work, knowledge, decision making abilities, emotional and physical toll and offensive guest behavior they have to face.

As a guest, keep in mind what front desk agents "need to have, be and do" on a daily basis, for HOURS. Some may love their job, yet, we all know that too much of a thing is not ideal anyway.

• They need to smile for 8 hours (if not longer), even if they have a headache, cramps, nausea or have already been working for 9 days straight
• They need to be positive for 8 hours (if not longer), even though they know the hotel is fully booked, no rooms are available and they'll have to send you to the hotel across the street for the night
• They should try to get along with all other agents, because management tries to cultivate team spirit and the ones who don't practice it won't get brownie points
• They need to be able to anticipate your needs real fast when you're about 40 feet away from them walking towards the desk
• They need to act as if you're right no matter what nonsense you're telling them
• They need to magically make pool/garden view rooms appear to cater to your persistent wish even if there really are none available
• They need to know about EVERYTHING that goes on in the hotel (restaurant hours, shuttle services, how the business center printer works (!), why the movies on demand are not working, what time the cute bartender starts his shift or why the airline lost your luggage)
• They need to politely deal with guests who yell at them, who think they are stupid, incompetent and incapable of solving their "simple" problem
• They need to endure the fact that, in the guest's view, it's their fault when the AC in the room is not working, because, of course, that agent chose that room for him! (not always the case!)
• They are cursed at by upset, loud, inconvenienced guests, they are hit on by drunk, obnoxious people, they may witness naked people walk across the lobby at night and may have to help escort an almost comatose guest (drunk or drugged) to their room
• They are not a bank (they may cash checks, but this service is limited)
• They may have a lot of power, but when it comes to restaurant bills, please remember to deal with any discrepancies directly with the restaurant manager
• They are most of the time really, really not at any fault if your 2 months pre-blocked room with a King connector facing the lake is taken by another guest
• They are trained to do their job, but remember that not all establishments provide the same type of training for the same time duration
• They have managers who not always stand by them. Remember, this is one of the worst things that can happen to you at work.

I know there are people who really are "natural" customer service agents. They love it and are great at it. They don't mind the often harsh environment and can actually, consistently have a positive attitude. They love their job and the guest interaction. I wish all agents had this in them. The real picture is painted differently, though. Remember that many agents are transitory in their position, aiming to spend "just some time" at the desk and hopefully move up to a higher position or a different department soon. Some others, are doing this as part of an internship and will be off the front desk in a few months. Some, need a job, and they really see it as just a job that has good extra benefits (hopefully, at least). Others, are starting out in the workplace and are trying out different things that may initially appeal to them, just to realize after a few months, they don't love the front desk so much as they thought.

Next time you stay at a hotel, remember that front desk agents don't have an easy job. You might be a great guest, but the guest just before you, might have made that agent who's serving you, cry.

I learned that empathy goes a long way. Have it. Use it.

Another thing to remember: NEVER think a front desk agent is less knowledgeable, less smart or less important than you are!

Have a wonderful stay!

...and thank you very much!

Be the perfect Hotel Guest!

Knowing how to behave and communicate well while staying at a hotel will help YOU have a better stay! The most important thing to keep in mind is to treat the hotel staff with respect, courtesy and understanding!

CHECKING IN:

• When checking in, always be polite, friendly and communicative. Never be snobby and, please, don't wear your sunglasses unless you actually have eye problems at that time. Eye contact is one of the most important things for a successful interpersonal exchange.
• When checking in, don't ask "I'm a frequent guest here...can I have a Suite?", without familiarizing yourself FIRST with the current and upcoming occupancy of the hotel. You may ask the agent checking you in "Has the hotel been very busy these days?" and get a feel for the situation from there. If you are indeed a frequent guest on a reward system offered by the hotel chain and you have used your reward # for your reservation, stay assured that the best hotels will automatically upgrade you to a suite if it is available.
• Don't flirt with the front desk agent. It is offensive and distracting, and creates a very uncomfortable interaction. It is possible that, depending on how the agent feels about your "flirty jokes", she will leave not so friendly comments about you in your account. Whoever pulls up your account will be able to read her notations about how you behaved at check-in.

YOUR ROOM TYPE:

• IF your choice of room is NOT available, don't lose your temper and curse out the front desk agent. It is probably not her/his fault at all. Rooms are, most of the time, allocated to reservations long before your check-in time, and there are certain supervisors or controllers who are in charge of this. Losing your temper will NOT get you brownie points with anybody at the Front Desk, and you might end up NOT receiving any of your desired compensation (may this be free tickets to the shuttle to downtown, complimentary room service, a discounted rate, extra points on your rewards card etc)
• Continuing, if your choice of room is not available, politely express your disappointment, and ask calmly "So, what do you think we can do about it?". Right there, the agent will understand your request for "something to be done", and will most likely give you options. Remember, however, for your future stays, call the hotel the day prior to your arrival, and confirm the room type you had requested. Explain to the agent on the line how important it is for you to have this type of room, and ask, always politely and very friendly, continuously repeating the agent's name on the phone while talking to her/him, if she/he could leave a note on your account for other agents to honour your room request (that means, not to move you/your reservation to another type of room).
• IF the above mentioned step did not work out for you, know that there are situations beyond control of the Front Desk staff that could sometimes negatively affect other guests coming in (a group postponing their check-out, for example, will inevitably affect the room inventory somehow).

POST CHECK-IN DUTIES:

• Remember your front desk agent's name and if you had a bellman escort you and your luggage to the room, remember his name as well. Try to establish a relationship with them, so that you become their guest. Throughout your stay, talk to them, ask them questions, and ask them for help if you need it. They will appreciate you trusting them and coming to them for help, and will be glad to offer you the best service. Tips are greatly appreciated (and, may I share my opinion, you should always tip good service), especially by valet-parking and bell stand staff. Front desk agents are not used to being tipped, but a "monetary gift" as a thank you on your day of checking out will never be forgotten.
• Recognition goes a long way, and if you have 2 minutes (just 2 minutes!), fill out a guest comment card, acknowledging the people who gave you good service. Write down your name, contact information, and KNOW that these positive comments have a tremendous positive impact on hotel staff. They are read by management, and they are shared with other employees. It definitely helps ensure good service for other guests too!

InternEtiquette - Part III

Oh, online communication is a special thing. A previous post of mine mentioned how important it is to make your words more "visual", so that people cannot only truly understand what you want to tell them, but can also understand HOW you are saying/writing it.

"I cannot believe he would do that!" has a different meaning than "I cannot believe HE would do that!" You see what I mean, right?

Sometimes people believe the Internet is a silent war-zone.
There is no visualization even needed, because the madness in their words says it all.
I am all for kindness and being good, but unfortunately there are people who use the online world for putting others down.
There are curse words, there is anger, there is misery and there are accusations. I have seen it mostly on social media engines, like Facebook, Twitter or MySpace. Envy and jealousy reign in their minds at that moment of "updating a status", "tweeting" or "commenting on someones post", and people take off on a voyage of deliberate insults and profanity.

It only ends up hurting themselves.
Remember what I mentioned about others' perceptions of you. Enough said.

Why? Why would you do that to yourself? Do you really want to show the world how you place so much negative energy on abusing and offending someone "publicly", instead of trying to find a solution?
Keep in mind that the Internet is an open book, and your employer, future employer, potential employer, friends, family, children can all have access to the information you input online on social media engines.

My advice is: Leave the ugly words for very personal encounters only, and only if very, very necessary. I am not in favor of confrontations that create a scene, that have hair-pulling and curse words involved. You can keep all confrontations diplomatic and less painful, always.

• Online, if you are the victim of a social media insult, ignore it. Don't "start a scene" and comment on that certain comment. Don't update your status by confronting back. You'll be the better, bigger person sending the silent message that it didn't affect you. That is all you need to do.


• Online, don't waste your time leaving ugly comments for people. WHY are you not focusing on doing something more productive with your life? Live a better, positive life. You don't need to share with everybody how much you "hate him" or "wish she would quit work and disappear". Do yourself a favor.


• Online, share your worries, concerns and comments with a friend, via e-mail. Keep it as private as possible, and don't post it on social media engines. Sharing and talking is OK, but don't opt for the "open insults" that will actually bring you down instead.

Be Kind.

Feel Good.

NO random Restaurant Talk!..

One of my areas of concentration lies in customer service training. This comprises less of the technical training to do a job as a server, bartender, as a front-desk agent, PBX (phones) agent, concierge, sales person or as a reservations agent, and more of the people skills, communication skills, polished good manners and follow-up skills. These "soft skills" complement the technical training given by supervisors, managers or corporate trainers. I come in to polish it up a bit.

Given the nature of one of my concentrations, I always find myself meticulously observing, silent-commenting and judging service. I mostly do so at hotels and restaurants, because of my previous work experience and industry knowledge and passion for hospitality.

I stopped expecting excellent service (so sad, I know), because that would put me on the streets as a trainer and consultant. No, honestly, I haven't experienced flawless service in a casual dining establishment in a long, long time.

I expect A+ service in fine dining establishments, no questions asked. A few years ago, my husband and I celebrated our Anniversary at Manuel's on the 28th on Downtown's Orange Avenue. The contemporary cuisine was absolutely, flawlessly served by our very knowledgeable, very well trained server. The whole team was in sync with their guests, amazingly anticipating our needs over and over again, only stopping by our table when necessary, knowing how to pause, not interrupting our table conversation. Well, a few years later, I must say I just remembered, my husband and I dined at Antonio's on Sand Lake Road by Dr. Philip's (also Orlando). Service was a delight. Although I would not consider it a fine dining establishment, white linen cloths, serving from the left, waiting until both of us were done to clear our plates from the right, and using a bread crumber before serving our dessert was mirroring the service we received this past Valentine's Day at The Vineyard Grill at the Ritz Carlton Grande Lakes.

Sadly, as I was saying, I don't recall the last time I received excellent service in a casual dining establishment. There is always something to mess it up, I must say.
The other day, my parents and I were about to order lunch in one of Downtown's newest restaurants (very nice place, discriminating decor, interesting, tasty menu items). When asked how the chicken was, the waiter's facial expression (and I am not joking!), was a mix of skepticism with a slight disgust. To finalize his answer he said: "It takes so long to cook, and then when you get it...you're just better off having much better chicken at KFC or so!". Enough said.
At a nice Steakhouse known for having some of the best steaks in the State, while clearing up the dishes from the table, piling them up as much as possible on one of those oval trays, my stepdaughter was nicely splashed with meat sauce. It didn't burn her, but soiled her shirt and pants. A not empathetic "sorry" was delivered so low you could hardly hear it. One might say it was just an accident. perhaps. But accidents can be prevented, and the way he was clearing up the table was not indicative of any preventive measures.
One of my all-time favorites is a very friendly, yet clueless waitress letting us know that "the bread we have now is so hard, that I'll have to put some fresh dough in the oven for you!" Thank you for sharing. We don't want to, we don't need to know about these situations in the back of the house.

A guy I worked with a few years ago, when answering a very upset guest's question why the elevator was still out of order, sarcastically responded "Sir, we also have stairs!"...The guest was staying on the 17th floor...(now, that was at a hotel, not at a restaurant, but you know what I'm talking about. Service is service)

In my opinion, service has become way too casual. The fine, little respectful attitudes are somehow lost in time. We are so often rushed through lunch/dinner, many waiters making a complete wrong assumption that we're in a hurry just because it's lunch time. We are judged by our waitstaff the minute we sit down, I get that, ok, and sometimes you see the pathetic transition of horrible service to nicer and careful service once you tell them you are taking a NY Strip home to your husband and 2 desserts will be to-go as well. Now, I must say, diners (people!) have also been slacking in their manners. Uff, that will be a whole other post, but if you're trying to serve someone who's constantly on the cellphone, loud and obnoxious, disturbing other guests and barely paying attention to you, server, I understand that frustration very well also.

There are two sides to everything, right?
(The restaurants mentioned above are linked to their web sites!)

InternEtiquette - Part II

Good day, everybody! It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Orlando, Florida!

Continuing the mission of spreading good manners and kindness in our online world, today's focus is on:

• Enhancing your online written communication to avoid possible conflict
• Watching the content you post; mind your readers!

To start, let's have a look at an example: I am writing to you, whether it is via e-mail, instant messenger, blog comments section, Facebook, Orkut or any other social medium: "I think you did the right thing" You probably know what I am making reference to when I write this to you, however, you don't really know how I am telling you this. Am I confident in my words? Am I rather skeptic? Maybe I am happy? Notice that I didn't use punctuation in the sentence on purpose. You don't know how many e-mails I receive with no punctuation. It's almost like a written nightmare. Without punctuation, you run the risk of total misinterpretation. Let's not get into grammar coaching here, but I cannot emphasize enough how important commas, exclamation and question marks or periods are. I was perplexed when a high school counselor e-mailed me an email with no greeting and closing note, and no use of punctuation! Uff! Enhancing your words with adjectives, adverbs punctuation and "visual words" helps your reader understand how you are expressing yourself in your written delivery. It helps your reader "listen to your voice" when he/she reads your mail.

"I honestly think you did the right thing, without a doubt in my mind!" conveys the full idea: What you want to say and how you want to say it.

Instead of replying to an e-mail by writing: "That's a good start. Keep it up.", write: "I think the first ideas you showed in your table are a wonderful way to start the project. It gives it dimension. Keep up the good work you demonstrated in that table and the bullet points below. Let's bring more content to it, though." People can't read what your entire thoughts are, and while assuming is something we just have to do on a daily basis anyway, if you are expecting a 2-way communication to be truly effective, make sure you enhance your written e-mail communication.

Time should never be an issue here. It takes just a few more seconds to add words, explanations, "smiley faces" and question marks. In addition, by taking 1 additional minute to write it out, you'll be saving time later on not having to explain what you meant in the first place.

Once I wrote an e-mail to a training manager. It had about 2 small paragraphs with a few questions and thoughts I had. The answer I received was (and I will never forget my reaction to it): "Call me as soon as you can." Was he upset? Was he in a huge hurry? Was he at least somewhat happy about what I had sent him? I was confused by the too short and almost rude answer. I didn't know what to make of it. On the phone, soon after, our conversation was delightful! Had he sent an enhanced e-mail, he would have been able to communicate with me much more efficiently and avoid any misinterpretation!

Second topic: Watch the content you post! I read a comment someone posted about certain presentations being "so lame". Not only did this person insult all the other classmates who share the same social medium online and who were actually presenting on that day, but the content posted created a "did you see what So&So wrote?!" type of online gossip. Now, that is something we all don't have time for. A friend of mine decided to blog about her "dumb colleagues who think they know it all" and wrote a paragraph about one certain lady. The lady ended up reading it, and my friend's reputation was drastically affected. Negatively, needless to say. She had to apologize by blogging about it. Another one commented on a certain holiday being "so fake and consumption driven" and "a waste and ridiculous", not taking into consideration that others in his own tight circle celebrate it all the way, and love it. What are you trying to do to yourself, I ask? I never advocate against critique, however, it can always be done in a kinder way. There is no doubt about that.

Remember, nothing is ever totally deleted in our world wide web.

InternEtiquette - Part I

A few topics deserve more posts. Like the "Iffy Situations" series that I started, I will dedicate a few posts to, ...let's call it InternEtiquette!

This is a topic hard to tackle due to its complexity. It involves so many aspects, applications, "places", things, words, information, web sites, logos, e-mails, social media, pictures, viruses, privacy, copyright issues,...Uff! But please, note, I am not a lawyer...I will focus on the politeness that is so often forgotten in the online world. My suggestions and advice come entirely from my experience in the Etiquette Business.

My first on the list: E-MAILS!

What I have been noticing:

• People who don't greet others when e-mailing: By leaving out a "Hello, John! How are you today?" you send the message that the content is more important than your manners and respect for others. How do you speak to others on the phone? You greet them first, correct?
• People who don't finish their e-mails with an appropriate closing note: By not saying "Goodbye!", "Have a nice day, and I'll talk to you later!" or "Thank you for your e-mail" you are definitely not considering good manners and god communication. It is like hanging up on somebody via e-mail!
• People who misspell (and not by accident) and use wrong grammar: No excuses here. I only tolerate it when people are using English as their second or third language. If English is your first language, you should never, and I repeat, never, use wrong grammar and spell words incorrectly. It shows lack of care, lack of attention and lack of respect for yourself and others.
• People forwarding your e-mails and e-mail addresses to others without your "permission": Here is a tricky one. I would never wrongly judge my mother for forwarding my e-mails with pictures of my daughter and us to her cousins and best friends! I know she does it out of love. Being far away, e-mail has become one of our main modes of communication. I appreciate my mom and friends caring!However, apparently my personal e-mail address was given out to a lady constantly sending out messages about events that, unfortunately, don't interest me. I don't know her well, but know a few people who know her. You get the idea.
• People not answering your e-mails: Once I wrote about the time management excuse of "I don't have time". Thus, if you don't answer e-mails promptly (urgent ones on the same day and non-urgent ones within 48h, Internet access being available, of course), you are sending out the message that you don't have time for that person's issues, comments, questions etc. You are mostly, however, sending out the message that you have time (of course, we all have time!), but you choose to do with it something else than answering your friend, client, family member. If you have an e-mail account, expect people to e-mail you. Check it daily. Make it a habit! It has become one of the most common and convenient communication modes. If you have one, use it, or people will lose interest in e-mailing you!

These are some of the basic faux-pas of e-mailing that I consider mentioning. I have not gone into content yet. Next time, let's talk about e-mail content and social media! It is amazing, how social media has become part of our lives as people and business people. For now, have a good one, everybody, and I look forward to your comments and questions!