Be Kind.
Feel Good.
(c) 2009 International Etiquette Solutions, Inc.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Gift giving "corporate style"
Gift giving is an art. The main goal behing the act of giving someone a gift is to make the other person feel special. It takes a few steps to achieve this goal and affect the other person on an emotional level. Visually, we are naturally attracted to beautiful things (hint: nice gift wrap). Emotionally, we enjoy personalized things (hint: a handwritten card, a frame with a real picture of both of you). Practically, we like things that will add value to our lives (hint: something we can use!).
You can imagine how I was silently in shock when I once received a gift from a person about a year later after I had given that person that exact gift. Basically, she gave me back my gift!
If you take time to choose a gift, it will show. Also, know at least a few things about the person's likes and dislikes. When handing a gift to someone, never, and I repeat, never comment in a way that will make the other person uncomfortable. This includes saying "Do you like it? Oh, I don't think you like it... You can exchange it! ....Yeah, I don't think she liked it..". This is one of the worst things someone can do when giving a gift.
In the corporate world, gift giving is common, yet sometimes misunderstood. Remember to keep it professional. You may want to buy something that can be actually used in the office/business environment. Depending on what the person does or where she/he works, you may also want to keep it more conservative, or less.
Whether you have a large or small budget, creativity is key.
I have a few personal favorites, for $ and $$$ that I would like to share with you:
- Perfume or cologne
- Pets of any kind
- Clothes, especially undergarments
- Shoes
- Jewelry
- BIG things, like a funny 2 gallon coffee mug (?..), a 1yard long pencil or a 20 pounds chocolate bar
To succeed in the art of gift giving, take your time, find out a bit more about the person, be creative, make it pretty, personalize it and be sincere, always!
You can imagine how I was silently in shock when I once received a gift from a person about a year later after I had given that person that exact gift. Basically, she gave me back my gift!
If you take time to choose a gift, it will show. Also, know at least a few things about the person's likes and dislikes. When handing a gift to someone, never, and I repeat, never comment in a way that will make the other person uncomfortable. This includes saying "Do you like it? Oh, I don't think you like it... You can exchange it! ....Yeah, I don't think she liked it..". This is one of the worst things someone can do when giving a gift.
In the corporate world, gift giving is common, yet sometimes misunderstood. Remember to keep it professional. You may want to buy something that can be actually used in the office/business environment. Depending on what the person does or where she/he works, you may also want to keep it more conservative, or less.
Whether you have a large or small budget, creativity is key.
I have a few personal favorites, for $ and $$$ that I would like to share with you:
- For the Sweet Tooth: delicious Champagne Truffels from Teuscher (Switzerland)
- For the tea Lover: the blooming teapot, tea for one and blooming green tea from TupperLiving (Tupperware)
- For the coffee Lover: a magnificent Nespresso machine
- To complement someone's Stationary: Fine greeting cards with the person's initial(s) - don't forget the envelopes!
- To add a bit more elegance to someone's Stationary: a classic Lamy fountain pen
- For news and magazine Lovers: a subscription to a nice magazine ("Pink", for business ladies, "Portfolio", for both business men and women)
- For the Mom who is also your Coworker: a subscription to "Working Mother" magazine (great!)
- Car TLC: In addition to a gas card (minimum US$25,-), arrange for the person's car to be cleaned inside and out, and if you want to impress even more, arrange for it to be detailed!
- To add a bit of Fun and Laughter: The Hallmark "Hoops&Yoyo" collection has a great variety of fun (and funny!) gifts (to be given to someone you know a bit more)
- To add Motivation: there are great motivational and inspirational cards, posters, frames, even coffee mugs and agendas/calendars. Check out AllPosters.com!
- Perfume or cologne
- Pets of any kind
- Clothes, especially undergarments
- Shoes
- Jewelry
- BIG things, like a funny 2 gallon coffee mug (?..), a 1yard long pencil or a 20 pounds chocolate bar
To succeed in the art of gift giving, take your time, find out a bit more about the person, be creative, make it pretty, personalize it and be sincere, always!
Kindness is a wonderful thing. Use it wisely!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
If I could only remember his name!...
Please know, it is quite common for us to easily forget a person's name, especially if we are meeting many new people at a party, networking event, social gathering or even before a large business meeting. Oftentimes, we feel embarassed to have forgotten someone's name. This may even lead some of us to avoid interacting with the new person we just met, simply because we feel uncomfortable asking for their name again. Morever, the situation may become slightly tighter if the "new person" remembers OUR name...
To ease your pain and help you cross that rough path, there are various methods that help you develop a mindset and capacity to easliy remember names.
One technique that I use and teach my clients is a technique that I developed over time, after reading and trying out many methods. It is called "L-CAR":
LOOK: Look the person in the eyes. Look for specific facial traits. Look at the person's eye color.
CLICK: Take a mental picture of the person's face. Tell yoursefl "click" and tell yourself you want to memorize this face.
ASSOCIATE: Think fast, and mentally associate the new person and her/his name with someone or something that immediately reminds you of him/her. Example: I meet Kate. Kate has a cute nose like my sister's. I will associate Kate with my sister and will place them side by side in my mind.
REPEAT: One of the most important steps: Continuously repeat the person's name during the introduction and short conversation you start with the person. Example: It is a pleasure meeting you, Kate! If you don't mind, I would like to introduce to you my friend John. It is so interesting that both of you come from the same small town, Kate! In a few seconds, you have used her name twice. Now, when introducing John and Kate, you will use it again, and will have more chances of using it immediately after. Repetition and eye contact really will emphasize the mental picture you took and the association you made.
I hope you take the "L-CAR" with you on your business and social gatherings, trips and outings!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Denise
To ease your pain and help you cross that rough path, there are various methods that help you develop a mindset and capacity to easliy remember names.
One technique that I use and teach my clients is a technique that I developed over time, after reading and trying out many methods. It is called "L-CAR":
LOOK: Look the person in the eyes. Look for specific facial traits. Look at the person's eye color.
CLICK: Take a mental picture of the person's face. Tell yoursefl "click" and tell yourself you want to memorize this face.
ASSOCIATE: Think fast, and mentally associate the new person and her/his name with someone or something that immediately reminds you of him/her. Example: I meet Kate. Kate has a cute nose like my sister's. I will associate Kate with my sister and will place them side by side in my mind.
REPEAT: One of the most important steps: Continuously repeat the person's name during the introduction and short conversation you start with the person. Example: It is a pleasure meeting you, Kate! If you don't mind, I would like to introduce to you my friend John. It is so interesting that both of you come from the same small town, Kate! In a few seconds, you have used her name twice. Now, when introducing John and Kate, you will use it again, and will have more chances of using it immediately after. Repetition and eye contact really will emphasize the mental picture you took and the association you made.
I hope you take the "L-CAR" with you on your business and social gatherings, trips and outings!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Denise
Saturday, February 21, 2009
IFFY Situations - Part I
I received a comment/question about how to best handle spills when you are eating out. The question was specifically directed to eating suhi or sashimi, and the situation was described as follows:
You are having lunch or dinner with colleagues and maybe with your boss as well. You are using your japanese chopsticks, and when you are ready to eat your sashimi bite, it slips from the chopsticks, lands into your small dish of soy sauce and creates a splashing sensation where soy sauce is everywhere to find except inside the small sauce dish. Your clothes are stained, and hopefully your white blouse is the only one affected. This was the scenario given in the post.
So, what do you do?
There are a few important things to KNOW, no matter how bad the situation seems to be:
You are having lunch or dinner with colleagues and maybe with your boss as well. You are using your japanese chopsticks, and when you are ready to eat your sashimi bite, it slips from the chopsticks, lands into your small dish of soy sauce and creates a splashing sensation where soy sauce is everywhere to find except inside the small sauce dish. Your clothes are stained, and hopefully your white blouse is the only one affected. This was the scenario given in the post.
So, what do you do?
There are a few important things to KNOW, no matter how bad the situation seems to be:
- While you are now the center of all attention, you don't want to further nurture this.
- This means, take care of the situation fast and be calm about it at all times.
- While you are uncomfortable, others may be too. You don't want to spread it further either. So, don't excuse yourself 10 times or tell the story over and over again once you're back at the office.
- Try to involve the least amount of people possible. You and the waiter will suffice.
- It is NOT the end of the world. It can happen to anyone. Calm down. You will survive.
You may want to use your napkin to help clean as much as possible, at the same time, signaling to the waiter to come. Ask the waiter for a new napkin, and expect the waiter to clean up your area (wipe it, replace plates, bowls etc). There is no need to announce "Oh, my goodness, I'm so clumsy! I'm sorry, everybody! Oh, my! Did I get it on you too? This is horrible!!". There is no need to say any of that. Excuse yourself from the table once and clean up a bit more in the restroom (make it quick). Come back to your clean seat, put on your jacket if you have one (by the way, your jacket should be on regardless), and continue with lunch/dinner as if nothing happened. There is no need to dwell on it and comment on what a horrific spilling you created. For the others accompanying you, nobody has to ask "Are you ok?" or "Did you get it all off?". The best way is to forget about it and keep on with lunch/dinner.
For the future, analyze the situation before you are even part of it:
- Order "easy food" when eating out with colleagues and managers, especially if you are not 100% familiar with the food and/or utensils.
- Dress for the occasion so that you are prepared. Avoid wearing light colors that can easily show stains or dirt.
- If you have a history of "spilling", be prepared and, yes, have a perfectly ironed shirt/blouse or another jacket at work or in your car.
- If it happens to a colleague, don't comment on it or ask questions like "Can I help?" and "Oh, here, take my napkin too!" (big no-no!). The person wants everybody to forget about it as soon as possible!
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Dating ABC
The Dating ABC can certainly be applied to relationships of all kinds, not necessarily just dating. Have a look!
Always smile
Be polite
Compliment with care
Don't try too hard
Expect reality
Find a common ground
Give in order to receive
Honor your own needs
I will keep an open mind
Jealousy - reevaluate it
Keep communicating
Listen carefully
Mind your manners
Never lie
Obstacles are normal
Persist if you believe
Quality is better than quantity
Resist temptation
Settle differences early on
Trade loneliness for companionship
Utilize your intuition
Visualize what you really want
Welcome change
X: Meet you at the X-roads
You can be happy
Zenith: achieve it in all senses
(c) 2009 INTERNATIONAL ETIQUETTE SOLUTIONS, INC.
Always smile
Be polite
Compliment with care
Don't try too hard
Expect reality
Find a common ground
Give in order to receive
Honor your own needs
I will keep an open mind
Jealousy - reevaluate it
Keep communicating
Listen carefully
Mind your manners
Never lie
Obstacles are normal
Persist if you believe
Quality is better than quantity
Resist temptation
Settle differences early on
Trade loneliness for companionship
Utilize your intuition
Visualize what you really want
Welcome change
X: Meet you at the X-roads
You can be happy
Zenith: achieve it in all senses
(c) 2009 INTERNATIONAL ETIQUETTE SOLUTIONS, INC.
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