Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Others' perceptions of YOU

It is not a secret that we don't get a lot of time to make a first good impression. Also, it is no secret that we never really get a second chance in making a first good impression.

We need to understand that no matter how you want to be, live, dress and talk, it is not really about WHO you are, but about HOW OTHERS PERCEIVE you. Many people don't realize this crucial point, and are frustrated about their personal and business relationships. Human beings are drawn to those they feel they have something in common with, and this is why they say "it clicked". It applies to social and business interactions of all kinds.

When it "clicks" there are more than just positive, mutual sentiments being exchanged. You are able to establish great rapport with one another, and communication flows like you have known each other for a long time. The so-called chemistry is there, and you feel confident this is the right person. Whether for business, for friendship or for more personal relationships, humans looks for others who are like them. You want this association to happen continuously, and, of course, this is expected to be mutual. If it isn't, the relationship may start off "right", but will sooner or later drift into a confusing, blurry, unfriendly mess where one party/one person tries to control the other party/person, and frustration and disagreement arises in every little possible occasion.

If you want to be perceived a certain way, you need to dress the part, act the part, feel the part and moreover, you need to be consistent in your actions and beliefs. In order to feel confident and attract others who are "like you", take action. Go places that resemble your lifestyle, communicate more often, and nurture new relationships. Don't be afraid to start a conversation, and rather than talking about your thoughts and experiences, be a better listener.

Be careful about trying too hard and ending up communicating the opposite of what you actually desired. Nothing in excess is good, and we all know this. This happens when you forget to remain polite, considerate, friendly and, most definitely when you forget to smile.

It is important to able to make a first good impression. Not only will this allow you to advance socially and in your career, but it will also increase your level of self-confidence. By respecting and acknowledging social and business encounters, you are respecting yourself and are increasing your self-awareness.

Now, it is up to you to decide HOW you want to be perceived by others.

1 comment:

Leticia said...

Hello Denise!
I have a question concerning Japanese food...say you were invitede by your boss, or a collegue at a Japanese restaurant. If you are eating sushi, sashimi with the chopp sticks and unfortunatly your fish bit slips from the sticks right into the soy sauce and some of it splashes onto your white blouse...do you ask the waiter for some cleaning materials (which is comon in Rio), do you try to cover it with your napkin, do you ask politely to go to the bathroom, do you pretend nothing has happened, although it is quite obvious, or do you put on your blazer and try to wash it out at home. Consider the fact that it may stain. What to do? I ask this, beacuse it has happened to people I dined with.
Ps: liked your napkins tips!